Racist Rocks

Even inanimate Korean objects are fundamentally racist and hateful of foreigners. Today, a Korean rock conspired to do approximately GBP500 of damage to my bike. 

The fist size piece of ultra right wing nationalist Korean jurassic rock lay, seemingly innocent, in wait for me at the side of the road one third of the way up the climb of Namhamsanseong.

It pounced suddenly from its idleness and jumped into my spokes doing a complete revolution inside my wheel, scratching my carbon forks [to fuck] and beat the life out three spokes, the resultant effect being an irrevocable buckling of my wheel.

I admit the rock was clever. Korean rocks are – Viet Kong-esque guerillas. It attacked me at the point of no return in my ride far from civilization. And I use the word ‘civilization’ in this country in its most loose sense. To borrow the words of Gordon Ramsay, “Fuck me!”

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